What If He’s Four Years Younger?

I recently met a guy and he’s…simply, amazing. I have a “list” of what I look for in a guy and this guy tops the chart! Compared to other guys I’ve met, befriended, “hung out” with, and occasionally dated, this guy beats the cake. Never had I imagined I would meet someone like him but I have.

So you’re wondering, what’s on your list? Well, I came up with the idea from the classic film, “The Wizard of Oz.” My thinking is he must have the traits of the three characters: the tin man, the lion and the scarecrow. He must have: (1) a heart, (2) a mind, and (3) courage. Simple, right? Well, each of those characteristics have sub-traits I look for too. For example, if he must have a heart, he should treat people with respect (older and younger) and love for God (which could mean many things like going to church, being active in ministries). If I explained everything of this list, I would be on my way to writing a novel, so I won’t bore you with that, but that’s my list.

About this guy, though. I met him at church. I never really paid attention to him until I ended up in his Bible study class. Just as the class came to a close and we were about to pray, with my bowed head and closed eyes, I heard him ask, “What’s your name and can you pray for us?” I looked up to see his “heart-melting” eyes meet mine and all I could do was respond with my name and say yes. I prayed and as I was leaving, he thanked me for the prayer and wished me a great day. There were other occasions after where he’d somehow make his way to say hello to me or compliment me on my dress or a song I sang (yes, I like to sing). I began to admire him, observing him while he led out in Bible study class or lead a program for church. He was a natural born leader and principled. If it was time to pray, you’d better have your eyes closed kind of thing, but I admired that because he’s respectful, smart and other things. Just from observing him from a distance, I realized he’s different from other men I  befriended and very loved by many people. His kind I hadn’t seen in a lot of young men in this day and age.

I began taking more interest when once I joked around my family members while waiting for lunch at church if there was any guy they could see me with. A cousin who was visiting with us for a few weeks immediately called his name and my heart leaped. Was that a sign? I also started getting bizarre invitations from members of the church to come to programs especially when he was there. Deep down, I really wanted to get to know him more. This Christmas, we texted throughout the day (I know, why don’t we just pick up the phone to talk? It’s a generational thing.) I saw him yesterday to drop off some scarves for their homeless ministry, which he was spearheading and just before I left to head home, he walked me to my car and we spoke and got to know each other a bit more. He asked what I did in my profession, I asked about his family and so forth. We hugged and for a brief moment I became sad because I wanted us to continue talking but I didn’t want to keep him for too long and he had a meeting to attend. Here’s the kicker though, he’s four years younger and I don’t know what to think. Should I overlook the age, pursue this relationship and see where it goes or should I call it quits in getting to know him and move on hoping I’ll meet someone else more my age? Your thoughts? I’m opened.

My 80-year-old friend

For the sake of privacy, I’ll call my new found friend, Jane.

She’s 80 and has six great-grand children.

I met her while serving as an inspector during the primaries, held a few weeks ago. Our shift started from 5 in the morning and ended till 10 in the evening. But seated next to her made the day go by so fast. We must have talked about everything: from the new machines and ballots used, love, work, young people, life as a whole. I think I learned more from her than I did with any senior citizen.

A couple of things I learned from Jane:

  • Laugh often.
  • Life is too short to groan and complain.
  • Every minute counts so make the most of it.
  • Don’t hold back. Take action when your intuition tells you.
  • Socialize and keep good close friends. The time will come when you’ll appreciate having them around.
  • Love among humans comes and goes, but love in God is always forever.
  • Read books and when you’re tired of reading, keep reading. Your brain will thank you.
  • Don’t change or alter your body just to enhance your beauty, your natural self is more beautiful than you know.
  • When times are hard, lean on God. You’ll soon realize He’s the only one around whose shoulder you can do that on.
  • Never give up.
  • Travel when you can.

Jane and I stay in touch and call each other every week. I never thought bumping into an 80-year-old woman would have an impact on me, but it has. I thought I had friends of all ages, but Jane beat the cake and it’s truly a joy having her for a friend. I don’t think I’ll ever reach her age and be fortunate to have six great-grand children, but I realize one can never be too young or too old to establish friendships, it’s up to me though to reach out and befriend. The impact could be surprisingly wonderful.